Life as an Ex-Pat in South Africa

Well, this July will be three years since we made our journey from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to Pretoria, South Africa. We have learned so much about so many things in this time, especially about ourselves. I feel like now that we have lived here for this long, that I can honestly give a well rounded opinion about our overall experience. We had no idea what this decision would do for us, but I can honestly look back now and say that it has been the best decision that we have ever made for our family. We have had tons of ups and downs, but it has all been all worth it. I have had many friends and family ask questions about what it is like to live here as an American, so I thought that this list might help shed some light on our lives as ex-pats.

POSITIVES to being an Ex-Pat in South Africa:

1. SUNSHINE! Pretoria has an average of 365 days of sunshine. The weather here is absolutely beautiful. Everyday you wake up to beautiful skies and end each day with breathtaking sunsets. Winters here are just as amazing as well. Though it can get chilly, with an average low of 42 degrees Fahrenheit, it only lasts a few months and once you step outside, the warm sun is still shining brightly enough to warm you up. I have yet to have to pull out a winter coat for our family here.

2. Travel. With so many places and things to see in a country that is relatively small compared to the US, we have had to opportunity to travel around and see so many things.  Ahhhh, there are so many amazing sights to see here. From stunning mountain views to the most clean and beautiful beaches that I never even imagined existed in real life. A few must see spots, some that we have seen and some that were recommended by friends, Kruger National Park, Cape Town, Drakensberg (still on our must see list), Hermanus, Knysna, and Mozambique.

3. Wildlife. This is a no brainer. Where else in the world can you bike along zebra and giraffes, hold newborn lion cubs, walk with elephants, drive alongside a herd of wildebeest and wake up to the roaring of lions outside. There is an abundance of wildlife here and the interaction available is endless. Just simply amazing! We have seriously ruined zoos for our kids for when we move back to the US.

4. The People. The people of South Africa are so genuine. You are always greeted with a smile. Manners and politeness are a must. People here seem to really focus on the simple and important things in life. They are not caught up in popular trends, keeping up with the Jones', or excess.

5. Living Healthy. I believe that the sunshine helps with this one a lot. I  mean who would want to sit around the  house all day watching TV, when you can walk, run, bike, have a picnic or pick up any sport to be outside in this amazing sunshine. That, then really helps to motivate healthy eating as well. I don't want to come home and eat cupcakes as much after a nice run ;)

6. Culture. We are Pittsburgh born and raised people. I have been out of the country a few times for holiday, but usually in a hotel or resort. So, to be living literally within a foreign culture has been an experience in itself. You learn so many things about the way that other people live. From languages, (There are 12 national languages in SA), food, crafts, art, dress, social habits, music, work ethic, politics, sports, holidays, sickness, schooling, religion, and just plain old behavior. All have been different from anything else that we have ever known. One of our favorite weekend outings here is going to food and craft markets. Such a variety of things. They are amazing! And I have learned to LOVE the food. Who woulda thought?!

7. Acceptance. With everything and everyone being foreign to us here, not everything has always been to our favor. But, with that, you have to learn some acceptance. Just because things are not the way that we know or particularly like all of the time, it doesn't mean that it is wrong, just different. With this, I have learned to like things that I never thought that I would, I have grown a lot by being totally out of my comfort zone. Though I still experience anxieties with change sometimes, I have really learned to let go of some and enjoy myself and try to learn from those who I do not understand.

8. Community. The great part of being on this particular project is that we are never alone. There are now over 200 American families here. It has been so great to meet so many different people from so many places, who can all relate to everything that we are going through. We have made some really great friends here, some of who have become like a pseudo family to us.

9. Education. I am not talking about the education particularly in the schools, but the overall education that our children as well as we are gaining here from living in such a culturally rich environment. Not just being exposed to the African culture, but there are also families living here and attending the kids' schools from all around the world. We have met people from places all over. Some places we have never even heard of, haha. Our kids have more international friends now than I have ever met in my entire life.

I would not call this next list so much negatives as I would STRUGGLES, because each one has taught us something and made us really look at ourselves as to who we really are and what we really want out of our lives for our family. And, I believe that when you learn anything, it is never negative.

1. Missing Family and Friends. Being so far, you miss those close to you. It is just as difficult for them to make the trip as it is for us. So, we miss a lot of holidays, birthdays and gatherings that we truly wish we could be there for. Thank goodness for internet! Since we have moved here, the internet is a staple in my daily life. Between emails, Facebook, Instagram and Skype, we have managed to keep in contact with the ones we love. The longer we are away, the more distance can grow between some, but not all. We really appreciate those who have kept in close contact with us and still make us feel like part of a something special at home.

2. Being far away from home. We are 8,269 miles away from home to be exact. It's not so easy to jump on a plane at any given moment to embark on a 16 hour flight with two small children. Especially when the cost of the tickets are outrageous. The Delta flight that we take from Johannesburg to Atlanta, is the LONGEST commercial flight in the world. With the distance and the cost, comes extreme planning. We have to plan the entire year based on when and if we can visit home and things come up and it is hard to change plans for an extreme trip as this when road blocks arise.

3. Missing Home. There truly is no place like home. No matter how long you have been gone or where you have been. When we drive through the Fort Pitt tunnels and it opens up into the beautiful view of Pittsburgh, I tear up every time. Seriously, every time. We never realized just how much we loved that city til we left it. Being away really changes your perception. We miss Steeler Sundays, Kennywood, summer Pirate games, Idlewild Park, The PENGUINS, weekends at Station Square, Southside, Fireworks at the Point, Concerts, festivals, the Strip, parades, PITTSBURGHESE, St.Patrick's Day, and of course Primanti's sandwiches. God we love Pittsburgh!

4. Poverty. We never really knew or saw what true poverty looked like until living here. One quarter of the population is unemployed and living on less than $1.25 per day. In 2011, the life expectancy at birth of South African was age 55. More than HALF of South Africa's children live in poverty. For more statistics, which are sadly astounding follow this link,

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9280481/More-than-half-of-South-Africas-children-live-in-poverty.html

This has been a very hard struggle to witness here. We have never seen such living conditions, health issues and poverty as we have here. Poverty like this, does not exist where we come from. But, there are ways that you can help and there are many charities that you can participate in.

Unicef if a great one to start with:
http://www.unicef.org/southafrica/

If anything, this struggle has taught us to always give back and appreciate all of the blessings that we have, no matter how small.

5. Food. Along with #3, we miss our hometown favorites. I'd love a Pasqualino's Italian Hoagie, Della Sella's pizza, Eat n Park breakfast, a Primanti's sandwich or anything Mexican right now! And sometimes, just your average American foods, which are now imported specialities for us. Who would have ever thought you would see so many Americans smuggling boxes of Mac-n-Cheese and packets of Ranch dressing into a country, lol. I also NEVER thought that I would pay $10 or more for a box of Fruity Pebbles cereal, but this happens here and I have no shame. They were delicious and worth every penny, or should I say RAND. There are some stores that will sell a few imported US foods, but they come at a hefty price.

6. Peace of mind. With living in a third world country with a high crime rate, and health issues, we do have to take more precaution here than we ever had to in the US. We live in a very safe, high security estate and we use our heads when we leave it. There is security everywhere. Near our homes, stores, parking lots, and hospitals. We do not venture to unsafe places and are cautious about shopping, ATM's, driving and doing anything that we have been warned about.. I just miss being able to go to an ATM and not have to look behind me or cover my pin with my hand or drive around at night with my windows down and my purse on the passenger's seat and know that I don't even have to think about it. More than anything, it makes me sad that my kids do not know this freedom. Healthcare goes along with safety in this topic. The healthcare that we have received thus far has been sufficient enough. But, nowhere near what the US has. I still try to wait on medical things when I can for when we visit the US. Plus, there are different diseases and things to worry about here that we don't have to in the states. This can be scary, but we are very careful like I mentioned earlier about all that we do. One thing that was strange to us at first is that I have to de-worm our kids every six months. This is a big problem here, especially since most African children do not wear shoes, even at school and it can be picked up through the feet.

7. Seasons. My husband and I will disagree on this one and in the thirty something years I lived in Pittsburgh, never thought I would feel this way, but, SNOW. Yep, I miss that dang snow! I know those in Pittsburgh right now trying to survive this Polar Vortex will disagree, haha. I guess I never realized how much of a part of my life was spent anticipating and enjoying the snow. I know a large part was also spent hating it just as much, but man Christmas is just NOT the same without it. The first Christmas we survived and tried to embrace the sunshine by swimming on Christmas Day, but the second and third, BOO! Not Christmas without it. I guess I just want our kids to have those experiences that we did as kids. Having a snow day, school cancelled and being able to play in the snow and sled ride until you can't feel your toes, then come inside and warm up with some hot chocolate.

We can't forget about AUTUMN! My favorite season! Oh how I miss those Pennsylvania mountains lined with red, orange and yellow trees. And I have to hunt for orange pumpkins every year here for Halloween and have to settle with the few I find, whether I like the size and looks of it or not. I cannot wait for our kids to go to a pumpkin patch and be surrounded by hundreds and get to choose. I also can't wait for them to Trick or Treat in a neighborhood in the US. We have adapted a lot here and have our own version of American Halloween, but doing it in the US is just priceless.


My list of struggles may be a bit shorter than my positives, but I feel that a few on that struggle list are so important that they count for more. I'd really call it even. It's funny to think about if I had made this list after my first year or so, how it may have been very different. Amazing how the positives start to outgrow some of the struggles after a while. New ex-pats, keep this in mind. It does get easier :)

We have enjoyed living here just as much as we miss our home. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. South Africa has become part of who we are now and we will miss it dearly when we decide to leave. I will say, if anyone out there ever has the opportunity  to take on an experience to live as an ex-pat, even for just a bit, TAKE IT! Even with the struggles, it has all been worth it in the end and I feel that we are that much richer for having the great blessing of being able to experience ALL of this.

Kenley's First Day at Tyger Valley College

These are photos from Kenley's first day of school at Tyger Valley College. She is in grade 00, for four year old children, which they call "double knot" here in South Africa. So far, she seems to be very excited and likes her class and teacher. They are required to wear the school uniform you see below. This is her summer uniform and they have another for Winter. Also the Pre-preperatory grades wear less formal uniforms than the preparatory and college grades. The African school year runs from January-December, with a few breaks of about three weeks each in between. I have grown to really like this school calendar better than the US one. It seems like a much easier transition for all.

Gia also attended TVC before she began at the American school here and had a great experience. It is a beautiful campus and the Pre-preperatory program, which both girls attended was great.